Monday, February 7, 2011

First Weekend

So, this is rough. I don't even know where to start with it. Its probably going to take me some time to write everything out, but I need to do it. Friday night, B decided to drink rum. A lot of it. This isn't terribly unusual, but around 11 pm, he came in to tell me he was going to meet someone to get something for his back. I tried to keep him home, but physically, I couldn't. So he left. I began to text him to make sure he made it. He said he did, and was waiting on something. So I waited some more. I then started texting him again. No answer. Luckily I had the number to the guy he was meeting and I called him. He said they were at a bar and he would send him home. I gave it a little longer and tried B again. No answer. So I called the guy again and heard screaming when he picked up. He finally was able to talk and said B took off walking. Well, we had gotten about a foot of snow and it was in the lower 20's. So, I called my friend M and she came in to help me since B had the car. On her way, she swung through the last area we knew he was in. We were on the phone and she said I see police lights. I knew then it was bad. She hung up with me for about 15 minutes and called back. First thing she said was "He's okay". Long story short, he decided to lay in the middle of the road and a car sweaved to avoid hitting him. The police were called and when they arrived, he got somewhat physical with them. They had to arrest him. I guess I should mention he is a deputy sheriff in our county. So, I get a call from the sargent on duty, who is a friend and former co-worker, and he explains whats happening and what they are trying to prevent. I tell Sgt P that I understand, just keep me updated.

Around 3:30 or so, they brought him home. They thought they could release him to me, as he was somewhat more sober and a little calmer. Sgt. P explained he was not overly comfortable, but would stay until he either fell asleep or we could get him to the VA Pysch unit. I went into the bedroom to try to talk to him and he was out of his mind. After a short time alone with him, Sgt P and the other officer came into the bedroom and asked me to leave. They spoke with him for a while, and the other officer came out and said that they were all going for a ride to see if things could be calmed down. Then Sgt P came out and said, I will arrest him again if I have to. I told him again that I understood. They left. About an hour later, I text Sgt P. He said they were almost to the VA. He called me a short time later and said that B had asked for help and said he wanted to go. I thanked them again.

B called around 7 am and said he was in the Pysch unit and didn't really know why. He said the officers had just left him. He still sounded pretty drunk. I said, just stay there, see what they say. We hung up. He called again around 9, and sounded a lot more sober, but scared. Things were starting to set in for him. I told him I needed to shower and do a few things, then I would be on my way. I had decided that if he wasn't agreeing to treatment or seemed like a danger to himself, he was staying there. I got down there about noon and he was okay. Upset, but mostly sobered up and realizing what he had done and what it meant.

So, we met with the doctor and she explained a little about what was going to happen. She asked me some questions about things that were going on, and what my concerns were. I told her that he needed help and we couldn't fall through the cracks again. She said she was the head of the department and that would not happen. She explained what meds she was prescibing and how they probably were not a permanent solution, but would do until he saw the additional doctors. I told her I wasn't concerned about him coming home, as long as he got follow up treatment. I felt better about things when we left the hospital.

We met later on that evening with his Sgt. He is now on paid suspendion, pending an internal investigation. The only way now that he will keep his job is if he can claim it was related to mental illness, which it is. We just won't know until the internal is done.

I spoke with B a little bit ago. He has psych appointments Wednesday, which is great. He is meeting with a good friend soon to get some advice, which is also good. There are good things coming out of this, I just couldn't see them before. He is going to get help for the PTSD and alcohol, which is a big positive. He is realizing things have to change, which is good. I am really doing my best to be postive.

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